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Ok

so christmas has passed without incident,

though we still have to run the gauntlet and visit my mother .

Where my sisters italian in laws

who speak no english

are staying

I hear they had roast rabbit on christmas day

smuggled through customs in a suitcase

(A sweet little elderly Italian woman can get away with anything it seems)

In my mothers kitchen however

It’s a different story.

Not so sweet

Italian Antoinetta raises the rolling pin and brings it down with all her might

On the rabbit

My sister flinches

(my father didn’t build a house to withstand such violence)

‘Devo tenera che’ (I must tenderize it)

Antoinetta smiles up at her audience innocently

and proceeds to lambaste the poor creature to an inch of its life…

My mother holding the kitchen table steady, looks on in horror

I hear it tasted divine…

Very tender My mother said guiltily

though I’m sure my sister who cannot bear to lay a mouse trap

found it hard to swallow.

But

Christmas at my daughters house

was less gruesome

a pleasant time with family and dogs,

walks by the sea

country living

food and wine

more than the body can bear

and paper hats and presents

oh and crackers to pull.

and children rolling on the floor

and dogs allowed on the sofa

I lit the plum pudding without casualties.

After dinner to give our bellies a chance

we played cluedo *

(Was it you miss plum who committed the murder with the dagger in the conservatory)?

Oh dear and she seemed so pleasant

so innocent.

One can never tell by appearances…….

*CLUEDO: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluedo.